.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize