We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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