this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
