yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize