you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
