you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
