It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
