someone owes me an orgasm
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
