Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize