Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
