That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
