you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
