Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
