And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dignity is for republicans.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
