why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
