If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
