Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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