Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
