Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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