Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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