we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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