i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
