Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize