she was so not down for the gang bang
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
