the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize