Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
pop tarts are not kleenex
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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