let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
