She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
