Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
