me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
