Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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