I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
