I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
