I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
