theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize