so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
