I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
