i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
