Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have fence marks all over my body
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
