I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
