Buhtt sex?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
