just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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