Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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