i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize