I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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