we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
