so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
