You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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