North Korea, Best Korea!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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