I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
