so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
