I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
