Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
