Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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