i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
