You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
