I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
