drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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