Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
