the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
