Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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