On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
