We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
