How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
