I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
