i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
