we have officially lost it.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
