if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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